What to Say When Your Kid Tells You They Did Nothing All Day at School

Dear Parents, We Promise We Did More Than “Nothing” Today

written by, Bella LaMay, Lake Dallas High School Class of 2027

Every day we come home and we hear the same question:

“What did you do today?”

And almost automatically, we give the same response:

“Nothing.”

That’s it. No details, no stories, no funny moments. Maybe we did a lot or not much of anything. Maybe we laughed, had an awkward interaction, got called on in class, received a compliment, or maybe even an insult. But somehow when you ask how our day was, all you get is “good.”

I know that can be frustrating for parents. You spend all day away from us, and you genuinely want to know what we did or how we felt throughout our day. You want to hear about our friends, classes, even teachers.

And honestly?

We want to talk to you, too.

Sometimes, you just have to ask the right question.

Don't Ask About the Whole Day - Ask About One Part of It

When you ask , “What did you do today?” you’re basically asking us to summarize an entire seven to eight hours of our lives on the spot. Instead, try something more specific:

“What was the best moment of your day?”
“What are you learning in math this week?”
“Are you reading a good book right now?”

These questions are much easier to answer because you’re not asking us to mentally scroll through our entire day.

If we say “Nothing” - Don’t Give Up Immediately

This is the most important part if you want us to open up.

If you ask “What did you do today” and we reply, “Nothing,” Don’t always take that as the end of a conversation. You can try:

“Tell me something funny that happened.”

“Well, what’s your favorite subject right now?”

Sometimes, that tiny push of the conversation is all it takes and now we’re telling you a five-minute story.

It’s equally important to remember that sometimes we only have enough energy for the school day, and discussing it as soon as we get home can begin to feel like a chore. Between tests, regular assignments, constant noise, walking from class to class, and engaging in interactions for a 7-8 hour time period, a discussion right when we get through the front door and get to take a deep breath, can become an annoyance.

To avoid this, waiting until dinner and letting us recharge for a while can truly be appreciated, and if you wait until your family is sitting at the table together, introduce this conversation in a new way. Maybe, instead of saying “How was your day?” Ask them what the highlight of the day was and what their low of the day was. This allows the conversation to feel more fun and stories might flow easier. Plus, growing kids/teens are much more talkative over a plate of food!

We Want to Talk to You, Too

Starting with your own day can help open the conversation. A lot of times, as kids, we give you a generic response because, in our heads, you ask us about our day because that’s what you’re “supposed to do” as a parent, not because you really want to know. If you incorporate more direct and detailed questions, it allows us to not only share more but to also feel like you truly do want to hear what happened and who was involved.

Even though “nothing” might be our automatic answer, it doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t want to talk.

There’s a whole school day happening before we walk through the front door; new things we learned, conversations we had, things that made us laugh, moments that frustrated us, and stories we might not think are important enough to bring up on our own. Sometimes, all it takes is the right question to remind us that those little moments are worth sharing. So the next time you ask, “What did you do today?” and hear “nothing,” don’t assume the conversation is over. Ask again. Ask differently. Give us a minute.

Because sometimes, behind that one-word answer is a story we’ve been waiting for someone to ask about.

So, parents, keep asking. Ask about the funny things, our friends, lunch, the class we can’t stand, the latest drama, or even what we’re looking forward to tomorrow. Ask the specific questions, give us a little time to recharge, and most importantly, show us that you genuinely want to hear the answer.

“Nothing” doesn’t always mean nothing happened. Sometimes, it just means we don’t know where to start.